mumbled musings

end of an aaron...

2007-03-27T15:50:00.000+01:00

Hang on to something kids, I'm a makin' a change! From now on, I will be using Wordpress as my free blogging host of choice.

Why? why not, I ask you! Just because. Now update your RSS readers appropriately.

All better???

2007-03-21T22:07:00.000+01:00

....I if you believe the doctors.

I visited my local HealthPartners clinic for a checkup, and not only did the doctor not find anything wrong during the examination, but my blood pressure was fine as well.

Huh, guess it means that my job must be slowly killing me.

What does shaving my chest have to do with light-headedness???

2007-03-16T21:16:00.000+01:00

That's what I asked, later that day, in the Urgent Care center. But let's backup a bit.

I arrived at the AV Medical Center Urgent Care area, and it turns out if you're suffering from a rapid heart beat w/ chest pains, you get seen pretty damn quick. A nurse came in and took my blood pressure and such, and after that she brought in a funny looking machine with a bunch of wire leads. It actually looked like the back of Tophers entertainment center, if you unplugged all the components.

It was at this point that I thought about the relevance of depilation and EKG's. Long story short, nothing wrong with my heart, but now my chest looks like I had the mange.

Oh, did I mention that I had to take off my shirt, and put on a hospital gown BACKWARDS? Not a huge deal in an enclosed exam room, but when you're walking to radiology with your arms wrapped around you chest to keep from flashing the waiting room, it's a bit dicey...

After the EKG, the nurse took the results to the doc, who came in and asked some questions and did some reflex tests. This is the weirdest part of the day; the doctor looked like Tila Tequila.
(If you do not know who that is, I recommend NOT googling her at work. Just stick with the handy Wikipedia link above)

So after Dr. Tequila gave my heartbeat a listen, she sent me to get a chest X-ray(that will cost me). The X-ray showed nothing in my lungs, so the Dr has no idea whats wrong with me. My BloodPressure is a little high, but that's not a surprise. So like Ben said today, "It feels like everything in life is telling me 'maybe'."

Urgent care again...

2007-03-16T16:16:00.000+01:00

Wednesday, March 14th, I was enjoying a sub-par, LaFonda de los Lobos taco with my friend Jake. Jake is a friend from Zoo School who I have been hanging out with off and on at various Mexican Restaurants in the SouthEast Metro.

It was 12:34pm, and I'd just finished my taco and was discussing the various music joints in the Cities, when I noticed that my heart appeared to be auditioning for the position of kick-drum in a speed-metal band. At the same time I noticed this, I realized my vision was a bit blurry, and my breathing was pretty shallow and labored.

I never lost consciousness, nor even interrupted my conversation with Jake, but just made sure I was taking regular breaths. The moment passed(actually several moments), and I felt close to normal again, albeit with a fast heart rate and flashes of light-headedness. I drove the .38 blocks back to my office, sat down at my 'puterstation, and visited Webmd.com.

By the time I'd finished clicking on the 3rd symptom, the site was telling me to contact emergency medical help.
I'm sure this has more to do with liability; like if someone is in the midst of a stroke, while also surfing their site for info on symptoms, and should die, they wouldn't be liable because of these warnings that pop up.
This was also the second time I'd experienced these effects, so I decided to see if someone could drive me to urgent care. My boss/owner of my company volunteered, and so off to the A.V. Medical Center we went(conveniently located one and a half blocks from the Kappala residence).

to be continued...

Slainte...

2007-03-15T22:08:00.000+01:00

In honor of St. Patricks Day, I'm changing my blog format for the next few days. On the off chance one of you loyal readers catch this change in bloggity background, Slainte!

Now 100% Timberlake Free!!!

2007-03-05T16:55:00.000+01:00

Once again, we endeavored to enjoy the MN Rollergirls on a Saturday evening. And this time, we were able to avoid JT and the Sexy. Even better, we were able to bring my buddy from Zoo School. We first visited the Pizza Luce in St. Paul, and then went on to the RollerDerby. Hooray. And this time, the musical guest was Second Hand Ska Kings. I didn't realize it, but this is all that's left of some of the Twin Cities best 3rd Wave ska bands. And really, who doesn't love a ska band. Either way, I leave you with a slide show of the evening, and an invitation to join us for the next event, March 16.

No bueno...

2007-03-02T16:40:00.000+01:00

Imagine that it's around 9:30pm. There is currently a blizzard taking place, the Guv'nor is advising you to stay inside unless it's an emergency, there is absolutely nothing worth watching on TV, and your beautiful wife just went to bed early. What do you do?

I chose to watch the only DVD in my collection that I have not previously viewed: Mr Nanny.

Now to clarify, I have seen the movie before, but probably on VHS, or UPN 9 Saturday Matinee. But I had not watched it on DVD before, with it's crystal clarity and audio perfection. So I poured myself a Scotch and sat back to enjoy to show.

I briefly considered firing up the ol' computer and liveblogging the event, and then I said to myself; "do I want to be remembered as the guy who liveblogged a review of Mr. Nanny?" And because the answer wasn't an immediate yes, I decided to just enjoy the movie for what it was.

This movie was, I believe, directly caused by the film Kindergarten Cop. I also noticed, almost immediately, that it was full of "Hey, it's that guy"s. I soon realized that most of the cast will be H!ITG material, as the only other actor of note in the film was Sherman Hemsley.

Oh yeah, and the bad guy was played by David Johansen. You know, the lead singer for The New York Dolls? No, not ringing any bells? How about Dexter Poindexter? Ah, now you know who I'm talking about. Yeah, that guy.

Hot, Hot, Hot Video

Hot, Hot, Hot lyrics - Buster Poindexter lyrics

Buster Poindexter Music Videos

Music Video Codes by VideoCure

I'm (goo)back...

2007-02-27T17:25:00.000+01:00

Wow, it's been a while. I missed you, a little. I kept meaning to call you, but stuff came up. Yeah, sorry...

anyhoo, here is a recap of some stuff that's happened and has not been previously blogged:

Work sucks just as much, but now differently.
I lose my PAID company car in two days, and I don't have a replacement ready.
BP is on sabbatical.
My sister is 18!!!
Flan was postponed.
JAKE!
Flan-ternative was flantastic.
Biscuit had two kids.
I want to be a cowboy...

An open letter to Justin Timberlake...

2007-01-30T22:31:00.000+01:00

Dear Justin,

I’m writing to let you know that, while I appreciate the thought, I actually am not OK with the Sexy being brought back. And yes, this is probably a little late to tell you. Sure, the Sexy was delivered as promised, on Saturday night, and I had ample warning. All I had to do was look at the internets, and I would have known that Excel Energy Center was ground zero for a Thermonuclear Sexy-plosion. The problem is, I was trying to watch the Minnesota Rollergirls next door.

Justin, J.T., bro, I’m not here to argue about whether or not the Sexy needed to be brought back. And I won’t rag on your qualifications to deliver said Sexy on time and in one piece. I’ll leave that out completely. My issue is with the collateral damage your Sexy Express wrought. You see, St Paul is generally a beautiful town, a perfect setting for the receipt of the Sexy; except in January. It was approx –14 degrees with wind-chill(wind-chill is like when you’re looking hot, and then you put on a really expensive tuxedo jacket over your hoodie, it makes it that much more intense, you understand?) and every restaurant, pub and club within 3 block of the venue was crowded 14yr old girls and their moms, waiting for you and the Sexy. Again, I’m not going to question with one of them you were bringing the Sexy to; God knows the moms could use some Sexy.

So you see, I ended up wandering through the cold, windy streets of St Paul with my Wife and two friends, ending up in a hotel café several blocks from my desired location. While the food was good, I can’t help but wonder what we would have been doing had the Sexy not been brought that specific night. And because of that, J.T., I must make you my Nemesis.

Some might say that Nemesis is a harsh word, they are wrong. According to Webster, it means: a : one that inflicts retribution or vengeance b : a formidable and usually victorious rival or opponent. Pretty simple and clear cut, although I prefer the definition given by Brick Top, in the movie Snatch: A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible (expletive deleted)... me.

You see, J.T., I am that horrible expletive deleted. I will go out of my way, at every turn, to thwart you.

But you ask, in your faux ghetto slang, learned from a voice-coach years ago, “How dis foo gonna ruin my life-uh?” Good question. The answer: I don’t know. But I will. If I see your poster somewhere, I will tear it down. If I see you on TV, I will change the channel. If I see or hear an ad selling anything directly or indirectly endorsed by you, I will not take heed of its offer. And if I hear your dulcet tones polluting the air anywhere near me, I WILL SHUT YOU OFF.

You could argue that I’m blowing this out of proportion, that this is all just a scheduling error that effected one night only. But what of the lasting consequences? Just how many lives have been ruined by the Sexy? The US Government requires a multitude of tests and surveys be performed before a new building or industry can be built, just for the environmental impact. But you, you brought the Sexy back, but then you left. We have to deal with whatever lingering issues will come, over time, of the Sexy. And that is your crime.

Sincerely,

Your Nemesis

Bweee!

2007-01-11T21:23:00.001+01:00

That is all.

Coolest platform ever...

2007-01-10T15:07:00.000+01:00

In light of the fact that Topher is now renouncing his Apple citizenship, I thought to bring joy to geeks with this picture. An actual, working PS2 built into a toaster!

From the DamnCoolPics photoblog

For your viewing pleasure...

2007-01-08T15:50:00.000+01:00

crass, exploitative, hilarious

2006-12-27T20:49:00.000+01:00

Friends, let's remember Gerald Ford as he would have wanted to be remembered: as a punchline to an SNL skit that was actually funny.

Better, stronger, faster, bigger...

2006-12-26T17:11:00.000+01:00

Muchachos y muchachas! Mira:

Can't help it, sorry sis...

2006-12-20T23:23:00.001+01:00

Newest Arrival...

2006-12-18T18:32:00.000+01:00

Ladies and Gentlereaders, please welcome the newest member of our family: Maybelline the upright bass.

Maybelline came into our world yesterday at 2:37pm, is 72 inches long, and approx 8lbs, 11oz. She has 5-strings, has a pickup mounted at the base of the bridge, a gig bag, and active pickups mounted in the body.

Maybelline was welcomed by Aaron and Lexi, Paddy the guinea pig, the fish(Ron, Harry, and Hermione), and Jack Palance.

Bwee...

2006-12-18T15:18:00.000+01:00

Year of the Dog... UPDATED

2006-12-15T22:35:00.000+01:00

Top Letdowns of 2006

Died: May 25 - Desmond Dekker, Jamaican singer and songwriter (b. 1941)
-This guy made reggae and ska music that makes even white folks want to dance.
To those who believe in The Bible Code, 2006 will be the year of the apocalypse.
-I’m still waiting…
January 16 – Frontman Rob Aston announces that the Transplants have disbanded shortly after their fall tour cancelled.
-This may or may not be true. Either way, they’re not touring, which sux.
October 15 – Legendary New York City music club CBGB closes after a lengthy rent dispute.
-This means I have one less life goal, I’ll never get to see a show at CBGB’s
Revolver
-Does anybody know what this movie was about?
Talladega Nights
-Worst Will Ferrel movie since the Woody Allen one where he tried to be all serious
James Joseph Brown, Jr. (May 3, 1933 or 1928 – December 25, 2006)
-Hey, he was bat-excrement crazy, but man could he bring the funk!

Top Surprisingly good surprises of 2006

May 23 - The Wreckers release their debut album, Stand Still, Look Pretty.
-see Ben’s post on this for more explanation.
How I met your mother
-I started watching this show w/Lexi this year, and I really enjoy it. It’s got Doogie!
Life with Mikey
-living with Mikey was a new, and beneficial experience for me.
Desiring God ‘06
-Great event, I walked away with a lot of ideas, and a better grasp on my goals for the Gospel.
Country Music
-again, see Ben’s post
Sophie Valsler, John Ryan Durry, Emma Kapps
-hooray for babies
Rancid at Myth Nightclub
-no Transplants, but one of the best concerts I’ve been to. Hooligans!
Project Gutenberg
-Not Steve, an online repository of all kinds of out of print/out of copyright books. Check it!
Trading my sorrows...
-or at least trading an Upright Bass for a printer

Stupid JoJo...

2006-12-14T21:39:00.000+01:00

http://www.myheritage.com

I arrived to see a large python head peering out of the toilet bowl...

2006-12-14T15:40:00.000+01:00

Sorry, I couldn't help myself. After reading this story I realized that I needed to comment.

Phillips removed the snake from the septic tank because he said it had grown too big to be pulled straight out of the toilet.

Thank goodness that this was in Australia, because I have a hard enough time as it is using a portapotty.

The mostly nocturnal Carpet Python had probably taken up temporary residence in the septic tank because it was a good place to hide during the day and hunt for frogs.
"The tank was obviously a great home, because the snake was so fat and healthy it was it difficult to retrieve," he said, adding that the nonpoisonous snake will be released.

So not only do we have the discover of the Carpet Python(like a pocket gopher?), which lives in septic tanks, but also the elusive Dysentery Frog of the Western Desert.

I'd like to take a bath with Morgan Freeman...

2006-12-11T16:00:00.000+01:00

This post really isn't about Morgan Freeman, per se, as much as it's about the bait-and-switch tactics of Public Television during pledge season. Although Mr Freeman and I share the same Birthday, June 1.

You see, I find that the most annoying thing about pledge season is that they replace a large chunk of the crap they normally show with programming you actually want to see. Whether it's BBC series'(fawlty towers, thin blue line,Dr Who), their acclaimed dramas(again usually syndicated from BBC or CBC), or quality music programming.

Here is how you can tell it's pledge season, just by checking the PBS lineup:

The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe(Wonderworks Production) is on during primetime.
Austin City Limits features bands other than:Alabama, Joan Baez, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Joe Cocker, Vince Gill, The Judds.
The totality of the Anne of Green Gables movies are broadcast over the course of a Saturday.
The following series are absent from the daily lineup: Charlie Rose, The McLaughlin Group, The New Yankee Workshop, Travels in Europe with Rick Steves, The Victory Garden.

The following is a short list of series and shows that I once enjoyed, and are no longer available from PBS.

Red Dwarf
Monty Python's Flying Circus
The McLaughlin Group( whoops! not really)
Sessions at West 54th
321 Contact
Newton's Apple
Square One TV
Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?

Oh, and just to keep the whole theme going, please enjoy this clip of Morgan Freeman bathing in a coffin.

Do 1-armed pushups like...

2006-12-08T21:51:00.000+01:00

Continuing the saga of my straight-razor and me; I've decided it's time to come of with a name for it. You see, unlike my Gillette 14-titanium blade face scraper®, my new razor has character. At first I was think of calling it Dracula, because it does seem to draw a bit of blood. But as the nicks and cuts grow fewer and more far(farrer?) between, that names seems less appropriate.

I started thinking of it's attributes, and that's how I came upon a name: Jack Palance.

You see, my razor is:

Old School
Efficient
Dangerous
Masculine
Utilitarian
Dependable
Overall pretty bad-ass

And you guessed it, so is Jack Palance.

Neato...

2006-12-08T21:44:00.000+01:00

Yeah, the website name just about says it all. So for anyone looking for a present for me, just click the link and buy it, and you'll be my favorite person ever...
Iwantoneofthese.com

Stainless Steel playing cards. Almost worth buying the set(52 cards!) just to get a stainless Ace of Spades.

Ring of Fire...

2006-12-07T23:59:00.000+01:00

To this date, Johnny Cash is the only person ever sued by the government for starting a forest fire.

From Wikipedia

Obligatory wedding post...

2006-12-04T22:39:00.000+01:00

So, here's some more pics. Enjoy. This will be all I post about the wedding for now, since I don't want to "cause a brotha to stumble."

P.S.
Make sure you mouseover the pic of Mikey...

For all of you who missed it...

2006-12-04T18:05:00.000+01:00

Hardcore...

2006-11-28T23:18:00.000+01:00

Last night I shaved. This is not news, in and of itself, as anyone who has spent time with me knows I can grow stubble. The thing that set last night apart from all the other shaving experiences of years gone by was this: I used a straight razor.

For the last few months I've been dissatisfied with my shave, using one of the many-bladed disposable models. And I've been thinking about how less and less manly I get as every year goes by. I mean, gosh, I'm now wearing jewelry(that's a jab at the fact I have a wedding ring).

So when I got an unexpected commission on a copier sale last month, I spent my lunch break ordering a pearl handled straight razor like you see above. I also ordered a strop, stone, and other bits necessary for the upkeep of a good blade.

And after much waiting, I got it on Monday.

I spent the rest of the night excited about the possibility that I would be embarking on a chance to reclaim my machismo by a simple act of grooming. That I, a station-wagon driving suit, who barely ever even puts his boots on anymore, would wield a blade with a safety margin of bare degrees. You see, a proper shave requires a 30-degree angle. Any less than that, and I'd be shaved like a Christmas ham; any more, and I'd merely be exfoliating.

After work I purchased some "mug shaving soap" and a hair brush. I then waited as long as I could: I wanted to avoid, but ended up successfully emulating, a 13-yr old boy with his first Stetson Christmas shaving set. At 9:30pm, after receiving a haircut from my hot wife and then taking a hot shower, I lathered up the brush and flipped out the blade. Mentally ruminating over my inherent coolness, I angled the razor at as close to 30-degrees as I could, and took a swipe.

Long story short, after about 30-minutes I was done. I exited the bathroom with a self satisfied air, and about 15 little nicks and cuts. I had done it, and my nose was still there. Not only that, but I also intended to repeat and refine this experience the next night.

That's right, I am now a MAN! And my face hurts...

Why does fudge sting...

2006-11-27T16:13:00.000+01:00

So, I'm still sick. Doesn't bode well for getting married, does it?

First the flu, now a throat infection. My throat’s been sore for over a week now, so I visited the Minute Clinic at CVS Pharmacy to get a strep test. They’ll call me today or tomorrow with the results. But I can say that the Nurse Practitioner at MinClin was a very positive endorsement of the new way of doing healthcare. I would say it’s a ringing endorsement of the non-socialized healthcare scheme. Because of all the H.S.A.’s and Flex-spend insurance schemes, places like MinClin are popping up all over, and they really do provide a great service.

In closing, here are some things I learned while driving to Missouri(the I is pronounced “uh) and back with a throat infection, quantified as pro’s and con’s:

Pros:

Minute Clinic is fast, friendly, genuinely helpful, and cheap!
Halls Max© are great on a sore throat.
DQ Mr Misty drinks are also great on a sore throat.
Lidocaine(C₁₄H₂₂N₂O) is not tasty, but it makes your mouth feel funny.
Tea + Honey = good.

Cons:

Tea + Whiskey = ouch!
All other cough drops and sprays suck, they don’t help at all.
Any carbonated beverage hurts my throat.
Taco’s are not a good idea when you have a sore throat.
People say tea + lemon = soothing. They are liars. Turns out lemon juice is 49% citric acid. Do you think it’s a good idea to add acid to a sore, inflamed mucous membrane? Yeah, I thought so.

Also, I'm bored. Here's a test I passed, stolen from Noel's blog.

What American accent do you have? Your Result: North Central "North Central" is what professional linguists call the Minnesota accent. If you saw "Fargo" you probably didn't think the characters sounded very out of the ordinary. Outsiders probably mistake you for a Canadian a lot.
The Midland
Boston
The West
The Inland North
The Northeast
Philadelphia
The South
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

For all you who dislike Wikipedia...

2006-11-16T17:50:00.000+01:00

The new Dave Barry, Brian Sack, has posted a delightful article on Wikipedia flags and warnings. Please check it out, so that he's paid to write more of them.

*Alert* if you don't know what wikipedia means, don't bother reading the article. You probably have a fulfilling life to get back to anyway...

In sickness...

2006-11-14T21:29:00.000+01:00

So yeah, in the two weeks since I last posted, I got hitched. Not news to anyone really, since everyone who reads this blog regularly was at the wedding.

Anyway, the ceremony went as well as can be expected, and reception was fine(as far as I could tell), and bright and early Monday morning we left for our Honeymoon in Wisconsin. It was a nice cabin on the lake in the remote woodlands( or typical part) of WI, and it had a fire pit. Hooray! I had several nice times sitting on a bench by the fire in the morning with my Bible and a Diet Coke. Very relaxing.

Then we came home, and now we're sick. Yep, sick. Both the wife and I have the flu-thing that's been going around. At current count, we are two among many. The following list is a brief summary of sickies:
Ben
Casey Flynn
Sam & Tina
Lexi's mom Kathy
Most of my office
And maybe even you!

Hopefully you won't get it, because it sucks. I'll leave out the details other than to say you don't get to sleep to much, other than 25-minute dozing spells.

So enjoy the Social D song, Sick Boy, in memory of a sick boy.
blah!

Reformation Day...

2006-10-31T16:19:00.000+01:00

My contribution to Reformation Day is this:
William Tyndale's translation of the Book of Jonah.

Checkout Challies.com for more RefDay fun

A tale of two Tshirts...

2006-10-26T22:09:00.000+01:00

Well, don't tell Ingrid, but CMS has linked to one of the best shirts I've ever seen. Click the top image for full size, it's worth it.

Unfortunately, doing a 180(not you, Severson) points you smack-dab at this shirt. Horrible on so many levels, not the least of which is subconscious. Click away, and look upon the multiperspectivel gooey-ness.

Noel is to blame for this stinker...

Well, answer the questions...

2006-10-25T17:01:00.000+01:00

-stolen and modified from original at
http://www.lafterhall.com/filmnoir.html

It's not so bad being trendy...

2006-10-23T22:54:00.000+01:00

I say this self-depricatingly, but I think the conference last month helped push me to better understand the Calvinism/Arminianism debate. Not that the conference pushed a Calvinist agenda, not at all, but just because it was something that these men of God felt forcefully enough about to identify with it.

That being said, I found a neat bit of Pro-Calvinist thought:

SEVEN REASONS WHY CALVINISTS BELIEVE IN EVANGELISM

And of that post, I resonated with the second point. Check the italicized sentence:

2) Because we believe that God has ordained the means of bringing many sons to glory as well as the end. Hyper-Calvinists believe He has ordained the end but not the means, non-Calvinists believe that He has ordained the means but not the end, Calvinists alone consistently take the balanced view that He has ordained both. If we don't evangelize, someone else rightly will. Calvinists believe as much in man's responsibility as they do in God's sovereignty.

That's all I got.

A Slice of heaven...

2006-10-20T20:34:00.000+01:00

Anytime you're having a bad day, wander on over to Slice of Laodicea. There's bits of good stuff there, but when you read it you can't help but think of the village spinster sitting in her rocking chair by the front window, watching the street to find things to overreact to. Ingrid and Co. are always going off the deep end about important things, and usually tend to alienate the people they're trying to serve. Case in point: CCM.

Now anyone who's spent more than a minute reading my blog would know how much I detest Prom Songs to Jesus. And here is where I share a common view with Ingrid. But using the quotes below, I'll show you why she's lost me by the end of almost all the articles posted to Slice.

Therefore, when we bring popular styles into the church, we also bring in the association of Nissan Truck commercials, the elevator at J.C. Penney's, Fred Flintstone, Raquel Welch, Disneyland, Marlborough cigarettes, and the list goes on...

Second, pop music fills the entire human hearing range in a way unprecedented by any other music. There is such a thing as noise pollution, even though we have not defined it very well yet. In order to grasp the idea, there are roughly two parameters to be considered, spectrum and amplitude. The spectrum represents the human hearing range which, in the best of circumstances extends from 20 Hz at the low end to 20 kHz at the top. Amplitude represents the power of a frequency. Amplitude translates very roughly into loudness as a percept...

Early in 1992 a new bi-monthly magazine was sent gratis to many pastors and church music directors across the country: its name, Worship Leader. It is not a publication about the Holy Spirit (who is the true and only worship leader). No, it is chiefly a lubricant of the contemporary Christian music industry, which should come as no surprise since Worship Leader is a product of CCM Communications, Inc...

So you see point, I hope.

Free???

2006-10-20T14:39:00.000+01:00

Yeah, fo' free.
After spending $40 or so of my "we're sorry we kept you from earning any comission for 4 months" payoff on the eBible brand PPC software, I now find out that there's a free bible software that is a lot easier to run. The eBible software needed .net framework or something, and when I loaded the newest framework release on the PPC, it stoppped working. So now I have this worthless CD, and the only scripture on my PPC is whatever I've cut and pasted from ebible.com.

Long story short, I just found that there is the Berean Bible project with PPC software for FREE! They have both a PC and PPC version of the ESV, KJV, and others. So if you're looking for something like this, go for the Berean Bible. It's free, so what else do you want?

That guy???

2006-10-16T19:55:00.000+01:00

So not only does this gooback have his own themesong, multiple commercials on the different cable networks I view, and one of the worst haircuts on a non-hipster I've seen in years; he's got a podcast!

OK, not exactly a podcast, but he's featured on a podcast. How can this meathead be tech-savvy enough to take advantage of media that is this new? Shouldn't he be speaking glowingly about how they now offer their workouts in "digital video disk?"

It's just odd, that's all.

Happy Friday the 13th...

2006-10-13T14:50:00.000+01:00

That's right, today is Friday the 13th. Here's a little roundup of related stuff, since I'm too busy to actually blog.

Wikipedia entry on Friday, the 13th.
Born on Friday the 13th: Max Weinberg and Hillel Slovak.
We might all be killed by a giant asteroid on Friday the 13th, 2029.
Weird Greenpeace video about Friday the 13th, terrorists, and sandy beaches?
13th and final volume of Lemony Snicket's series released today.

P.S.
My apologies to anybody with paraskavedekatriaphobia. I hope you have a nice day hiding under a table...

Fine...

2006-10-11T22:42:00.000+01:00

So yeah, Lexi's furnace caught on fire last night, so if you think of it, pray for her and Bonnie. They don't have heat in their house, and it snowed today. That should tell you how darn cold it is up in here.

Also, Ben really hates some of my html edits, so I'll remove the message board and traffic exchange. I'm removing the exchange because I closed the browser after viewing my blog, and got a pornographic popup. No bueno. So hopefully thats finished, and Ben will stop whining.

300th post/ Pizza Luce...

2006-10-09T15:39:00.000+01:00

Wow, my 300th post. It's so great, to be able to look back over 300 individual posts and say "yeah, 4 of them mattered."

Anyhoo, apparently Skillet is still around, and Evangelical leadership is finally getting the picture:

Despite their packed megachurches, their political clout and their increasing visibility on the national stage, evangelical Christian leaders are warning one another that their teenagers are abandoning the faith in droves.

Or are they really just reaping what they've sown, in trying to get kids to "do church" wherever they are:

“This generation is not about church,” said Ms. Sandler, an editor at Salon.com. “They always say, ‘We take our faith outside the four walls.’ For a lot of young evangelicals, church is a rock festival, or a skate park or hanging out in someone’s basement.”

Read the article, it's only 2 pages long. And seriously, Skillet?

Who knew?

2006-10-05T19:54:00.000+01:00

I just found out that Challies.com has linked to my blog post on DG-06 reflections.

So I welcome the Reformed Readers(all 3 of you who'll click the link), and ask for grace that this worktime distraction of mine wouldn't offend unnecesarily. But since the link is to the exact post about the conference, I doubt it should be too much of a problem.

Update:
It appears that I had the most traffic EVER thanks to this. 490 first time visitors, 491 of which didn't return the next day. I don't know how that works, but either way it's neat!

Update: Piper Driscoll panel...

2006-10-04T23:15:00.000+01:00

During the afternoon panel discussion at DG-06, Piper had made a comment about Driscoll that to some of us sounded a bit off, but It at least didn't let it detract from my learning that weekend. Others did. Among other blogs, challies.com featured the start of an argument between the Piper-backers and the Driscolites: implying that Piper's comment was mean spirited/completely deserved, and that Piper was just jealous/a much better person than Driscoll.

I have two words for the people that so quickly broke into Interweb sectarianism:
Eat it!*

Way to miss the whole point of the conference, Dutch-Bags...

*I would have thrown another word to end that senteance with, but found that I was yet again chastised by the way Dr. Piper spelled out a thought. See my upcoming Smogcast for clarification.

Calvinists love their Diet Coke and Hardshell Taco's...

2006-10-04T16:29:00.000+01:00

As the blogosphere is undoubtedly full of posts concerning the Desiring God conference from last weekend, I'll try and touch on some things that might have been left out by more capable bloggers.

Baptists don't smoke
I was literally the only person there who smoked. Literally.
Mark Driscoll will kick you in the head.
Literally. Genesis Three style.
Calvinists love Chipotle.
According to the downtown store manager, they had the most peope he's ever seen on a Saturday. And they ran out of Diet Coke and hard tacoshells. Calvinists also like to make ordering a burrito too hard, and should lighten up about Mexican food.
D.A. Carson is Canadian, eh?
Wow, is he Canadian. Nobody doubts that he's intelligent and insightful, but I had no idea until I heard him speak that he was Red Green's older brother.
John Piper will punch you.
Nah, that's unfair. He won't punch you, but he'll make punching motions at you...
Josh Harris is small.
Yup, Josh Harris is actually about 4-foot 7.
Calvinists grunt.
Lastly, I found that most of the people at the conference didn't shout "Amen" like I expected. They just kinda grunted, a lot. Instead of the soft cascade of thoughtful "hmmms," we at times felt like we were in the midst of a wasp nest. The echoing "HMMM"s were a bit distracting.

all pictures are from Tim Challies, put hosted at my blog to save him some bandwidth.

So let it be written, so let it be done...

2006-10-02T21:57:00.000+01:00

OK, I made up my mind. Instead of having you choose between option A(stick with blogger) or option B(VOX) I chose option C(blogger beta). It's a little cleaner for us non-html weilding novices, so I can make it look like I want, without the parts of VOX that Ben hates. I will try and migrate the posts from VOX over to the betablogger site so you can comment away to your hearts contenc. That is all for now.

Oh yeah, I the wedding will take place November 4th, 7pm.

Angry...

2006-09-29T22:53:00.000+01:00

So as I sit at work in my hoodie, and scan the various blogs I frequent, a disturbing theme has come up. First touched on by Inkedblog, it concerns TammyFaye and Jim Bakker’s son. He is currently doing a PoMo style church, and he’s got tattoos. Oooh, scary. I remember reading about how he was starting a ministry to reach out to skate-punks and “Millennial”s in Atlanta several years ago in a Time magazine. He had a quarter-page profile, and it sounded like he had something good. Regardless of Jay Bakkers personal theology and praxis, what stuck out the most were the descriptions of Christian ministries used by the various bloggers and newspaper columnists.

”Indeed, through Tattoo Theater we can find deliverance from the holy warriers(sic) who invade our coffee houses and troll our bars.”

“Typical of fundamentalism of any kind, it stresses the coming apocalypse, subjugates women and squashes competing ideas - and devotees make no secret of the fact that they are committed to imposing their extreme beliefs on others via institutions of the state. Sandler takes us on a wide-ranging journey, from the classrooms of chaste home-schooled students to the 6,000-member Mars Hill Church in a hip Seattle neighborhood, where "a bright candy coating of secular cool (sweetens) the bitter pill of addictive orthodoxy."

Final word: Sandler exhorts secularists to fight back with a passion to rival these evangelists: " . . . we must recognize the same hunger for meaning that Christians do, and we must respond by lacing our television shows, newspapers and magazines . . . with a greater sense of life's value, all with enough humor, style, and rock and roll to make it palatable; a teaspoon of irony to help the medicine go down."

Words like “invade,” “subjugate,” “imposing,” “fight back,” them’s is fighting words. Someone even left a comment on the Sundance Channel production company’s press release page saying “Has he considered snake handling as the path to global lovableness? There's a vacancy.” Lots of hostility, but is it for the right reason?

Last Post...

2006-09-29T15:20:00.000+01:00

So after a week of Vox, I'm looking to make a decision about whether to stick with Blogger or make the move to Vox.
Please compare this post to the same post done through Vox, and let me know which format is the most conducive for your bloggity perusal...

Oh, and please enjoy some Mike Nelson humor. All the images are form actual websites about a guy named Mike or Micheal Nelson, and have Micheal J Nelson's face on them.

Zombie PhotoShip...

2006-09-28T09:08:00.000+01:00

Not a misspelling, I actually meant Zombie(walking dead) Photoship(combination of photoshop and pirates). Why?
Because when reading BoingBoing this morning I thought these stories were worth looking at.

1. Interview: Seetharaman Narayanan-longest name from the Photoshop splash screen.

"When I was re-writing the image processing algorithms in the plug-ins, he pointed to me that there was no need to do any image processing in the plug-in since the plug-in need not know about algorithms and it would be sufficient to just split the tasks and call the functions that knew how to do image processing. It just shows how stupid I was and how much of a genius that Peter was in pointing me to that simplicity."
Here is a guy who works on a product that is now legendary, and is even used as the general term for digital photo/image manipulation. He's also very humble. That impressed me. Also, if my little brother's name wasn't on that splash screen, I probably would have been obsessed with him as well.

2. What's up with overpaid, urban hipsters going nuts with the whole "zombie" thing? Are my

generations answer to the YUPPIE's going to be remembered as a bunch of D-bags who whined about the Iraq war, and then put on makeup and staggered around public places dressed like zombies? This reads like certain Sci-Fi novels, where a decedant youth are left with nothing other than creating entertainment on an absurd scale. Will the next stage be when the hipsters find a drug that slows the brain down, causing the jerky movement and lust for human flesh for real? Either way, there are others who think like myself, and refuse to let the undead have their way: Pirates!

On musical worship...

2006-09-25T16:55:00.000+01:00

As this is something I'm a part of, and feel strongly about, it was interesting the confluence of blogs that seemed to be on the same page as I am when it comes to the subject of musical worship.

Part of the problem is that we talk about music as a gift. It isn’t. I don’t know any gifted musicians. I’ve never met someone whose ability fell from the sky like the dove at Jesus’ baptism.

Every good musician I have met has worked hard - very hard. They have made a financial sacrifice for their craft that ranges from serious to extraordinary. Natural ability may play some role in separating some great musicians from the ordinarily exceptional ones, but that is it. The rest is down to perseverance and sacrifice.
The problem with gift-language, is that it implies debt; it creates a situation where it is too easy to believe that musicians owe the church their services. Don’t believe me? Try being a musician who politely declines an invitation to play in church. Try being the musician who feels called to teach sunday school, or work in pastoral care, or heaven forbid, to preach…

What makes matters worse is that “seeker” approaches tend to overemphasize the role of music. This produces ministers who - and I choose my words carefully here - are desperate to have dynamic and attractive music in their church. In the seeker approach, if you don’t have great music, you’re in trouble. This often means musicians are pressured into getting involved in “upfront” ministry far sooner than people with other professional and creative backgrounds.
Link

Nothing I can add to these statements. It expresses a frustration that I personally have felt many times. I believe I am an example of this as well. There have been times that my life did not reflect the kind of witness that standing in front of the whole church would seem to imply. And I honestly agree with Mark Driscoll, when he said that if they didn’t have someone who could do a ministry excellently and with a righteous lifestyle, they left the position open.

And how about this guy, a slightly PoMo Australian, with a take I think really sums up the dissatisfaction with the sappy goo I play once a month.

I sorely wish Christian musicians would write songs that help to sustain us as exiles, as foreigners in a forbidding country. We need songs that strengthen our resolve and inspire us to act. Not silly loves songs to Jesus.
Link

And lastly, as I head out the door, my new favorite blog:

The CCM Patrol
WHERE CHRISTIAN MUSIC IS ALLOWED TO GET BAD REVIEWS. REALLY BAD REVIEWS.

The first track on Leeland’s www.myspace.com/leelandmusic">myspace, “Yes You Have,” sounds like a song Chris Tomlin wrote on Monday morning after a weekend buried too deep under the iron sea. Gahhhh, do I hear that infamous strum pattern?! The lyrics are actually worse than Tomlin’s better tracks; as we say with each dawning day: writing a heartfelt worship song is no excuse to suck. After a hurricane of weather metaphors (rushing wind that moans, baby!) comes the inane, repeated-ad-nauseum line, unfortunately sung to God: “You’ve stolen my heart, yes, you have.”

If we were in the business of theological exegesis we’d prepare a lecture on that stupid phrase, but the nutshell is that God doesn’t steal hearts, no, he doesn’t. Sorry. As much as you all want him to be your teenage crush, God created hearts and owned them to begin with, and we respond to his calling and give our imagined control over them back to him. There is no seductive thievery involved. I’ll resist the temptation to call this sacrilege, but it’s at best ridiculous and pretty darn near meaningless.

That's all I got, but I think you get my point

experimentation...

2006-09-25T16:38:00.000+01:00

So in an effort to try new things, I am temporarily moving to VOX blog hosting. This blog will not be moved, but the new blogging will be. You can find it at:
http://thecox.vox.com/
go ahead and check that rss feed for the week, as I'm evaluating the value of switching. somehow I got invited to their service, and if don't cost nuthin, I might switch. So make sure to check there this week, as it's sure to be eventful!

Hehe...

2006-09-21T19:51:00.000+01:00

Gotta love those crazy asians! Check out this site with a whole load of interestingly illustrated examples of smoking ettiquette. click on the pics for a higher res version.

I wish we could do this to the Cat in the Hat...

2006-09-19T15:10:00.000+01:00

Before you go on safari to bag a couple of Heffalumps and Woozles, check out this Dr. Seuss taxidermy! Awesome, mind boggling, but awesome.

Emerging from where...

2006-09-18T14:51:00.000+01:00

So as I'm reading D.A. Carson's book(see "currently digesting" on right side of blog), I put together a thought that had been floating around unfinished in my brain. If my generation and the one after it are the "emerging, post-modern, millenial" generation, why is that generation being defined by mostly baby boomers, and a couple on-the-edge-of GenX?

more thoughts later...

Is that like Robots???

2006-09-15T14:25:00.000+01:00

I was at a TCF yesterday in Brooklyn Park, and as I sat in my car counting my money I couldn't help but notice an odd sign on an African-American hair supply outlet.

I have have no problem with braiding, hair, or wigs. And I honestly don't mind if it's human or synthetic. But the when it comes to deciding the great human/synthetic snack debate, I'm kinda worried. I see only two ways to interpret this sign...

Human-based snacks or Synthetic based snacks. I think Diet Coke and Twinkies would fall into the Synthetic category, and that's cool. But would you then have Jerry Jerky(only the finest, range fed Germans go into our Jerky), Bob Tarts, and ladyfingers? Ewwww!
Human snacks(snacks for humans) or Synthetic snacks(snacks for cyborgs?). This is the more likely explanation. If you were a cumputer construct, made from metal and circuitry, would one of the things neccesary for blending in with humanity be hair?!?

I believe the Brooklyn Park police need to be aware that they either have a capitalistic cannibal on their hands, or the invasion of earth by the 'bots is begun!

I'd like to give him a spicy Jesus roll...

2006-09-13T14:41:00.000+01:00

Baldwin:

"Well, thank you for the back-in-the-day part, but, sure, homie, when you're the baby Baldwin, and you start making some bank .... Being Alec's baby brother didn't suck."

Driscoll:

"The next time you read Genesis, think of Snoop,"

Which link did you click first?

surfing usa...

2006-09-12T16:19:00.000+01:00

So while enjoying the blogosphere today I ran across a great blog post. Check it out, but here's how the post wraps up:

The sad state of the church is that we are a cult of personalities rather than followers of the second person of the Trinity. Maybe its because one of those personalities doesn’t even believe in the Trinity. Maybe its because those of us that do don’t call those of them that don’t what the Church has always called them—heretics.

So how to you end with the above statement while incorporating Joyce Meyer and Francis Schaeffer? Click the link and find out!

ht:monts

If you are considering investing Offshore Money Haven, Please Your choice !

2006-09-11T20:14:00.000+01:00

I would like to finish my “War with the Dugans” with this post, and then return to the inane chatter that exemplifies this blog.

Let’s start with what I learned:

Never end a blog post with “feel free to lay into me” on a Friday, because the comment notification emails when you open your Outlook Monday morning will be staggering.

Now to end the topic, let’s look at the comments to my comments, and then I’ll comment on them(confused yet?):

We are 2000 years away from Paul, so don't have any apostles anymore (I know the word means "missionary"), but I'm talking apostle in the sense of people who have seen Jesus (which includes Paul on the road to Damascus). You only get to do the Apostolic Era once.So, the issue is what do you do after that. The Roman Catholics can trace their leadership back to the Apostle Peter, so they say. But, let me end with leadership is good! Now, define leadership!

Good point! There is currently no direct, one-person-between-you-and-God bridge of authority that was present in the beginning of the church. So what? Titus wasn’t an apostle, was he? He was the one helping to designate leaders on Crete(which is I think where this conversation started)(not that the conversation started ON Crete, but the subject first involved the situation on Crete, maybe). Paul(the only Apostle connected with the Cretan Church) just set out the qualifications. Spiritual gifts are a symbiosis of the “helper” coming alongside you to enable you to more effectively be a part of the work God is doing.

So to address that point made by Linda, I would say we should follow the example of Titus, and appoint elders and leaders by using the checklist provided by Paul. The situation is thus: spiritually mature leader, with advice from his leader and divinely inspired scripture chooses local leaders. That is the example shown by Scripture itself. But of course you can play it out however your leadership style demands.

Presbo’s would have the Council of Elders be the “Titus” of the story.
Baptists would probably have the Pastors nominate and elders approve, and thus have an even larger amount of people be the “Titus”

But either way, you need someone(or group) to decide who the elders and leaders are. Otherwise you get a situation like most car dealerships, where the gooback with the most sales the most consistently is the “Sales Manager.” And nobody wants that.

*(that’s pretty unfair of me, isn’t it? To suggest a new line of discussion in the same post as I supposedly tie off all the loose ends of the previous two and end the discussion itself?)

Now to tie up the loose ends and finish’er off.
“I hope nothing I've said led you to believe that leadership isn't an important gift of the Spirit or that leaders aren't necessary in the church.Nothing could be further from the truth and I would even argue that it's precisely because of the great importance of leadership that we should involve the body of Christ in that process as much as we can.”

I agree it’s important, and part of the reason I have posted so much on this subject is because I agree. But because I believe, and believe that the Bible shows, that leadership is a dichotomy of contradictions, and to limit that to one specific style of leadership would be to restrict the full flow of spiritual leading.Like I said initially, the method of leadership will not define the success or failure of body of believers. And that is the point the ultimately I come back to. There is nothing inherently wrong with a Congregationalist or Presbyterian style of leadership, and I’m not trying to argue that. But I’m also making the point that there is nothing inherently wrong with a more stratified leadership method either. I just don’t think you can pigeonhole the issue that neatly, because to do so would be to open yourself up to different, but equally devastating failures. There are potential pitfalls for any leadership method.

“I believe the authority a leader has is spiritual authority which is the authority to lead us to the final authority which is God's Word.”

Again, I can’t disagree with the points being made, as they are sound. But again, the dichotomy: John 3:5Jesus answered, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. 6That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. We have an essential part of our nature that is spirit, but we as fallible and ignorant of the whole scope of eternity cannot absolutely state where the spirit ends. Therefore we cannot clearly delineate where the spiritual authority would no longer be applicable, except where there is clear Biblical instruction on that. All we can do is judge by the standard made clear to us in the Word: 3:21But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God. Again, it comes back to the heart of the leaders themselves. There are many examples of Godly leaders using and working within all leadership styles to the glory and success of the Gospel. And there are equally many examples of leaders(be they presbyter, head pastor, or Cardinal) using their leadership system to benefit their own agendas and twist the work of the Gospel so out of shape as to be instantly recognizable as rotten fruits.

But it sure makes it tough to have a real, one-on-one relationship with God when there's someone (or a group of leaders) in the way telling me that I need to be depending on them first for God's words to me.

Acts 17:11 Now these were more noble-minded than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so.If the actions of these Bereans was important enough to be noted in by Luke in Acts, then here is where we have a clear Biblical example to follow. They were actually lifted up by the Luke for their behavior. I don’t think I would take task with Nikki, and therefore keep myself from war with the Wallace Clan.

My whole motivation has been to try and separate leadership style and organization from the one thing that is clearly and explicitly stated in the Bible:
The heart is where everything starts and ends. And while you can’t look into a person’s heart, and you can see their actions and words checking them for Spiritual Fruit, and thereby judge their heart.

Cool stuff in the rearview...

2006-09-08T21:51:00.000+01:00

As a continuation of my earlier post, I'd like to pick apart a couple of thoughts.

Firstly, by some of the reactions I got I feel I need to make clear that I'm not letting anyone off the hook when it comes to leadership. If anything, I'm making it personal. The ministry model used in leadership is NOT an excuse. The people in the ministry are the ones causing the problems. I use words like "style" "model" and "form" because that's all it is. My point is that regardless of the model of leadership used, if all the people in it are walking closely with the Lord, and submitting to his will, and I mean ALL, it will be successful. I do not see that a particular model would make someone less sucessful.

Factoring in things like personalities and life experience and you'll certainly see people gravitate to specific types of leadership models, but as long as the final person calling the shots is Jesus, it won't matter.
Now on to your gripes:

It's been said that the best form of government (secular or otherwise) is a benevolent dictatorship—a ruler with ultimate authority, good intentions, and a keen sense of right and wrong is going to get the most right things done in the most efficient manner. The problem is that never, ever happens because people are selfish idiots.
-Christopher James Tiberius Dugan

I'm sure people have said that, but the problem with putting your hope in system of leadership is that your taking your hope away from God. How many times in the O.T. did we see God subvert the leadership systems that HE setup himself?
When the Priesthood didn't do it's job, he killed them off and had a little kid get it done.
God wanted to use Moses as his single instrument to free the Jews, but he got whiney adn Aaron had to step up and help him. Would we even have the example of Aaronic Priesthood if Moses hadn't been such a faithless wuss?
Read the book of Malachi, and realize that he was aprophet totally outside of the established Priesthood.

Yes, selfish people ruin everything, especially leadership. But name an example of someone who failed and blamed it on the leadership model and I can show you 4 ways where adhering to Biblical principles in that persons own life would have negated the issues behind the failing, and most likely caused the ministry to flourish.

Not to pick on the Dugans, because I'm clearly just an amateur in that sport, but I also want to touch on this quickly:

Jesus Christ is the head of the church. (Eph. 5:23)

Everyone else is body--this includes leaders, teachers, givers, servers, encouragers (Romans 12 and many other passages)

Firstly, everyone is the body. That's indisputable. But why would God create a specific gift of Leadership, if he didn't intend it to be used for the benefit of his body. Not that I'm infering that you beleive contrawise, just that if it's important enough that we would get Holy Spirit help for it, it must also be an important job.

Which brings me to the second point that I must clarify. Leadership is a spiritual gift, and as far as gifting goes, that makes it clear that it's an area where God feels we need all the help we can get. Spirit led leadership, which is a headache if you drill down the words in that senteance, will provide for the best leadership whichever form it takes. But it is leadership by an individual. Leadership is not some gestalt that the H.S. set's up. It's pretty clear from the examples of the N.T. that there is a time and place for a single leader, whether for a specific ministry of missions, or picking the Elders for the church in Crete. Not all situations will require someone with the Gift of leadership, but many will.

That's it for now, feel free to lay into me.

Saddle(goo)back worship...

2006-09-08T15:08:00.000+01:00

I'll get back to the leadership "conversation" this afternoon. But I want to share this video with you. It's from this June, so don't think I found some clip from the 80's and am misrepresenting them. This was from this summer. Ewww!

(ht:aaron monts)

I say emerging twice in this post, without laughing...

2006-09-07T18:05:00.000+01:00

Editors Note:
this is a continuation of a comment I started on Tophers blog. I started to address this point, and found that it really needed the space of a separate post to do it justice. Please read the original subject first.

The leadership and decision making modes of the church have, to an extent, always mirrored some secular leadership and decision making formulas. And to look at any particular form of government for a body of believers and point to it as the reason that God stopped working through them is faulty logic.

The early church modeled the Jewish Synagogue tradition of a council of learned elders(Gal 2:7-10, Paul came before the people who were looked upon as pillars of the new Christan community, and most knowledgeable of the work and life of Jesus).

Later, the Roman church modeled the Roman state, and that has lasted to this day. With a top-down, authoritarian mode of decision-making and accountability, the Roman Catholic church gives us an idea of how the Roman government would have functioned, in ideals, at least. The college of Cardinals could easily be the Roman Senate. And the Pope and Emperor are clearly distinguishable as analogous, up to the point where the ancient Roman Emperor was considered either God himself, or the earthly voice of god.

The Reformation provided a place where emerging leadership styles could again bear on the church. The Presbyterians mimic the Scottish Clan or Town Meeting government styles, with a smaller group of people electing their representatives, who then go on to gather as a group and elect a next level, etc.

The Congregationalist form of government/leadership came about as democratic principles were being established throughout Europe. The Anabaptists(one of the first to practice congregationalism) were famous and reviled for their disdain for any formal structure other than the votes of the congregation. And even here we see a relic of past secular government. Only Members, and until recently only male Members(but not the males member) could have a say in Congregationalist government. Like the way that only Citizens of the town, members of the union, or landholding free men could have a say in their secular government. It is not a coincidence that the method of handling church government is about 5-50 years behind popular and emerging leadership styles.

My point is that throughout history, God moves in spite of our leadership style. There have been many great things accomplished for the Kingdom by churches governed a variety of ways. And the thing is, the style of government is only there to help those who don't have true Eternal vision. And before you get haughty about how you have eternal vision, I capitalized that on purpose. You(whoever you are) cannot see eternally, as in actually view history as if it were a road winding through the countryside, and you were on a hill. Because we can’t do that, and have to rely on the Holy Spirit to communicate to use that there is a turn ahead, we need government to keep things from falling apart between turns. Because I don’t know about you, but the time when people usually steer with their knees, while they put on makeup or eat a sammich, is not when driving through a series of turns. It’s when they are on a straight highway, and think that they don’t need to actually work at steering.

And by having a form of government, any form, we give ourselves the form to make sure that things don’t fall apart on us while we’re busy turning a corner. And there really is no problem at all with the varied form of government mentioned if everyone involved was daily walking in the Word and accountable to others. If the pope were accountable to the college of cardinals in a personal sense, if the form of Pope to cardinal to bishop to priest to individual was infused with Spirit Filled Christ followers top to bottom, THERE WOULD BE NO NEED FOR PROTESTANT AND CATHOLIC. It’s not the forms of government that are faulty; it’s the people in them.

Please note that this is not a specific attack on specific people. This is a continuation of discussion about a the idea/ideals of leadership started by Topher's post.

Just twitchy, that's all...

2006-09-01T14:45:00.000+01:00

So now that I know, you should know, too. On Wednesday this week I ended up being driven to the urgent care wing of the Apple Valley McClinic, just two blocks from the Kapala's. This happened because of the weird twitch in my leg, coupled with feeling light headed, which left me not in the mood to drive. Of course, I was in Forest Lake, and had just finished a 2.5hr meeting with a gooey car salesman. I was on the meeting along with my Boss(capital B=maj. owner of said company), and when I asked him to drive back, he of course wanted to know if I was ok. So after explaining the problem we both agreed that a trip to the Urgent Care would be a good idea.

End result:

Doctor said cut back on Caffeine(name a doc that hasn't told you that)
Doc said that stress is something that I need to manage so that it doesn't make me twitchy and lighthead, only Lexi should make me twitchy and lightheaded.
Doc said we should do some tests on my blood
A different doc took 1/2 oz of my blood
3 different tubes of my blood will be couriered to three different labs to test for stuff
I could confirm or deny the Celiac disease's veracity by next thursday(possibly will need an endoscopy tho)
I now have an excuse to ditch out on stressful(see: Lame) activities.

That is all...

Almost, my leg is still twitchy.

Anyone really surprised?...

2006-08-31T14:33:00.000+01:00

You Are Las Vegas

Wild and uninhibited, you enjoy all of life's vices.
You're a total hedonist, especially with sex, gambling, and drinking.
You shine brightly every night, but you do the ultimate walk of shame each morning.

Famous Las Vegas residents: Wayne Newton, Howard Hughes, Penn & Teller, Siegfried & Roy

What American City Are You?

No worries...

2006-08-30T22:36:00.000+01:00

To continue my theme of famous people frowning while I tell of my maladies, I feel the need to update you on my weird leg twitch.

It's not a tumor
It's not a virus or bacteria
It's not a blood clot
I'm not pregnant

So Jessica, please stop frowning, it will all be ok. I promise!

Newly-wads?...

2006-08-30T16:02:00.000+01:00

Sorry, that was the best intro I could come up with. Either way, it appears that these two are an item. I only bring this up because it's a good reason for the existence of fragmentary hand grenades.

Hypochondria, House style...

2006-08-29T16:13:00.000+01:00

So I recently purchased Season 2 of House, M.D. Great show, great characters, outstanding sarcasm.

But the problem with watching shows like House, is that you tend towards Hypochondria. I've had a twitch in my leg for a day or so, nothing painful, just like a feeling of a mild Charlie-horse. I figure this could have something to do with the lack of excercise I'm currently in the middle of. But after watching House, I start to imagine all the horrible things it could be. Could it be a blood clot that is slowly cutting of circulation to my leg, ending in amputation? An unknown parasite that feeds on the cell wall of my veins, leading to a bleed out and ultimately amputation? What if it's a deep-tissue muscle infection, which will ultimately lead to amputation?

Anyway, odds are if I go for a walk this afternoon it will go away. If not, I may be busier than a one legged man at Mass.(how do you like that, eh? avoided a profanity and took a dig at Catholics in one metaphor)

Good, but weird...

2006-08-28T16:20:00.000+01:00

Your Irish Name Is...

Tadhg Brennan

What's your Irish Name?

So this is weird, cuz my bosses last name is brennan. So would his last name according to the name generator be cox?

Baptism of the nougat...

2006-08-25T22:30:00.000+01:00

No, I'm not referring to the guy who fell into the chocolate vat, but to Driscolls newest post. Sure to infuriate those like the PoMo Homo, Mark discusses the bat-excrement crazy Presbyterians and their desire to change the names for the trinity so that church doesn't offend man-hating feminists. He then goes on to offer his own suggestions for renaming the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. My favorite:

Chocolate, Peanut, Nougat

If I were picking the new names, here's my suggestion:
Batman, Robin, Spaceghost

Part II: Electric Bugaloo...

2006-08-23T16:20:00.000+01:00

Now, I present the alternate lyrics to Zoot Suit Riot: Youth Group Riot

Who’s that whisperin in your ear

It’s a girl and that’s so queer

Keep your hands where I can see

Mess with Kuklock, you’ll get beat

Home schoolers came to see what

The big noise is all about

Zip those sleeping bags up

Because 10 pm is lights out

Youth group riot

Makin out under the stairs

Youth group riot

Watch the girls break down in tears

Hopped up hormone crazed, funked-out band,

This worship session getting out of hand,

Cut me some slack because you understand, no one else is giving us a hand

There just comes a point time when you can’t yell loud enough,

How come you can’t see that, at 14 it isn’t love?

Youth group riot

Makin out under the stairs

Youth group riot

Watch the girls break down in tears

You’re in a youth group riot

Oh, You put me in a bus, and expect me to keep it shut,

When you’re not lookin man, I’m gonna touch that new girls butt.

Part I...

2006-08-23T16:12:00.000+01:00

Now I'm not going video crazy, I promise this blog will continue to have the sporadic content that has been a staple of the mumbled musing. But I got bored yesterday, and as usually happens, my brain kinda wandered off. When I finally caught up to it, it was humming this little ditty, but with different words. New Lyrics in the next post.

The Clash...

2006-08-23T16:06:00.000+01:00

Enjoy one of the best songs from one of the best bands ever. My fav is when the band is dancing across a brick wall, about halfway through the video.

Girthiness...

2006-08-17T15:20:00.000+01:00

I love Kaps...

2006-08-16T17:55:00.000+01:00

Have you ever wondered...

2006-08-16T14:47:00.000+01:00

If so, here are the answers to The 25 Most Important Questions in the History of the Universe.
What are the questions, then, you might ask? Here are several examples:

3. Where Does Nougat Come From?
8. Why Do Battery Letters Skip from A to C? Was There Ever a B-Cell Battery?
14. How Much Wood Would a Woodchuck Chuck if a Woodchuck Could Chuck Wood?
21. Why Won’t Pineapple and Jell-O® Be Friends?
25. How Many Licks Does It Take to Get to the Center of a Tootsie Pop?

Yum...

2006-08-15T17:58:00.000+01:00

Slogans...

2006-08-14T20:19:00.000+01:00

So thanks to JBizzle, I spent several minutes today not working, but sloganizing! Here are the results of the three words that popped in my head for Monday, August 14th:

For a Hard-Earned Thirst, Flan.
The Lighter Way To Enjoy Kaps.
Go On, Get Your Girth Out.

As time permits, I will conspire to make actual ads that utilize these slogans. Keep an eye out!

Party with Piper...

2006-08-08T14:37:00.000+01:00

Anybody up for going to the big Piper/Driscoll/other guys conference at the end of September? It's here in Minneapolis.

Even better...

2006-08-07T15:31:00.000+01:00

So talk about coincidental, just as I was making a joke at SoL's expense, they went and posted twice about our beloved Club 3 Degrees(formerly the New Union). Man I'm good.

Anyhoo, the only serious thing about the SoL article, the Club's defence of their actions, and any other correspondance I've seen is this: If Clubs 3 Degrees is a church(or even if they're only a ministry), and if a strip club is opening a block away, shouldn't their first thought be "how can I show Jesus' love to these people?" Instead they file with the city of Minneapolis a motion for "Ewww, get away!"

Unless they want to classify themselves as a "co-op kids, after-hours and weekend teen childcare center," I can think of many pastors and churches that would love to have the opportunity to reach out to that segment.

Hmm, funny for three reasons...

2006-08-07T15:18:00.000+01:00

I chuckled at three points while reading this article, can you guess where? I'll point them out at the end. If you can add additional chuckle points, please do so.

Rocker Alice Cooper opens Christian center

ReligionAndSpirituality.com
PHOENIX, August 1 (UPI) — Rocker Alice Cooper, notorious for on-stage beheadings and songs about dead babies, is opening a Christian youth center in Phoenix.

Cooper, 58, is establishing a $3 million facility with Grand Canyon University that will have a school of rock and roll, a concert hall and sports activities — all be with a Christian thrust, the Arizona Republic reported Tuesday.

Cooper, the born-again son of a Christian minister and grandson of an evangelist, said the project is still in the design stage and Cooper said he's looking to add corporate sponsors to help its funding with an eye toward starting construction next year.

The singer of "Dead Babies," "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and "Welcome to My Nightmare" said the club called The Rock will offer a variety of wholesome activities free of charge to youth ages 12-18.

" notorious for on-stage beheadings and songs about dead babies"

This will probably make it on to SoL, with a wildly self-righteous editorial by Ingrid.

"Christian thrust"

hehe, he said thrust. seriously tho, good band name.

"club called The Rock will offer a variety of wholesome activities free of charge to youth ages 12-18"

Finally, someone is copying Evergreen. At least Alice Cooper admits from the beginning that The Rock will draw in all the 12-18yr olds right off the bat.

Just to keep things light...

2006-08-03T19:58:00.000+01:00

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free stuff...

2006-08-02T21:59:00.000+01:00

Hey, anybody want a free invite to the ebible web portal? It's basically a Web 2.0 version of Bible Gateway. I have one invite left.

Pomo Preschool-Summer School...

2006-08-02T15:11:00.000+01:00

Expository Preaching
It seems that what my peers and I want the most in church is someone who will dig into the word, and let the text speak for itself. A common journey through the thematic messages of the 1st century Church, with background info, cross referencing and context; but not hopping from verse fragment to verse fragment to support a theme not found anywhere two or more verses are read in continuity. What we want is expository preaching.

Expository preaching (also referred to as systematic exposition) is a form of preaching Scripture...Expository preaching differs from topical preaching in that the former concentrates on a specific text and discusses topics covered therein, whereas the latter concentrates on a specific topic and references texts covering the topic.
-from Wikipedia

Why does expository preaching appear to be the cure for what ails us?

Expository Preaching and the Seeker Movement

The seeker movement stresses the use of topical preaching in an attempt to make the Bible "relevant" to the congregation, specifically visitors with little or no recent church background. As such, expository preaching is very seldom used, and if so it may cover a book of the Bible at a very surface level (no more than 4-8 weeks total). Many verses that do not neatly fall into a topic, or where the topic (such as the Old Testament sacrificial system) is not considered "relevant" to the needs of the congregation, are thus not covered within the seeker movement.
-Wikipedia

Probably because we aren't getting a whole lot of it recently(if ever). But as I've been thinking on this, I ran across a series of articles at Out of Ur. These articles cover "The Myth of Expository Preaching." The writer obviously think expository preaching is bad, but that's really no surprise.

In reality what guides interpretation is not individual analysis of the text. It is the broad consensus interpretation for the biblical texts found in the ongoing history of church doctrine.The myth that expository preaching is more faithful to the text is simply not true. There is plenty room for all kinds of human interpretation even within expository preaching. David Fitch

Well, he would think that. Considering that Post-Modernism loves to wave the "There is no truth" banner, what could be worse than someone getting onstage and telling others what the Truth is, and why? "Here is what they wrote, and it is meant specifically and purposefully for X. And you can find in this (passage/chapter/book) where they clarify what they mean, and if you look at another (passage/chapter/book) you'll see that the writer has mentioned the same theme, but elaborates on a specific point further."

Oh no, this will not do. What the PoMo's would rather hear is someone walking up to the front of a gathering, wringing his hands, and asking which (passage/chapter/book) the gathering as a whole would like to read. Then they would all read and interpret amongst themselves, maybe coming to a consensus based on how confortable they are with a given translation, more often than not just patting everybody on the head and telling each other how spiritual and deep they all are.(this is not actually what the writer from OoR wants, it's more in line with Solomon's Porch)

Here is the bottom line: people are not stupid, and if you give them a chance and challenge them, the ones with character and potential usually rise to up and deal with it.

Now these were more noble-minded than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so. -Acts 17:11 (nasb)

Kinda weird that the Bible itself would lean toward a situation where the listener demonstrated their character by (gasp) examining what the Apostle Paul told them against the continuity of Jewish Scripture. Now this is not to say that cynical disdain should be our attitude as we listen to any discussion of Scripture, but to take the speaker at their word and point, and have the defense mechanism of regular study and meditation on those same Scriptures so that you can verify truth, discover untruth, and generally participate in your own personal walk.

the end

Not so much peace, just quiet...

2006-07-31T15:53:00.000+01:00

So starting tomorrow, I will be embarking upon a time of purposeful reclusion. In the past, one of my main failings could be stated as "filling my life with enough noise to drown out my conscience and the Spirit." As this season in my life seems to be one of life-altering change, and my second job will require that I get more rest anyway, I'm going to make time for God to speak.

My life, as it currently is, doesn’t have too much extra time that's not already spoken for. And so I will have to remove certain activities/relationships from my schedule for the next month. For although my friendships are important to me, certainty and direction are more so. And to not wander too far into Asceticism, this time of introspection will only last a month.

To that end, don't be surprised if I don't answer my phone or attend gatherings. I don't hate you(unless you are Steely Dan or Wilmer Valerrama), I'm just occupied with something personally necessary.

That's pretty good...

2006-07-28T19:43:00.000+01:00

Now that's a level of devotion to sarcasm I cannot claim. Although I appreciate the effort!
from inkedblog

Warning: Gooey post...

2006-07-27T22:51:00.000+01:00

Yup, that's me. Kissing a girl. And not getting slapped immidiately afterward! Who woulda thunk it?

That's us. Me and Lexi, who I'm gonna marry. Then she's stuck with me. Hehe.

I apologize to all my boys, who already know this, and put up with my mushy behavior.

So it appears...

2006-07-24T14:47:00.000+01:00

This could actually be the only worthwhile thing Steely Dan has ever done. Althought the whole thing seems a bit dodgy, I hope it's real. Because that would be cool. The linked content contains profanity, but it's from Steely Dan, so everything they do is pretty much offensive to me.

Anyway, blogger isn't giving me the toolbar, and as a non-html speaking nerd I can't remember how to link stuff so here's the url. Use it.
http://www.steelydan.com/heyluke.html

Grr, puppies...

2006-07-20T20:23:00.000+01:00

Last month I had agreed to puppysit my friend Sam's dog. He and his wife own a Jack Russel Terrier that on previous trips I have watched for a day or two at a time. But for this trip they were going to be gone for a week. Since he lives about 15 miles, or 20 minutes away, I wouldn't be able to just stay at his place with the dog, so with the consent of my landlord I decided I'd bring the dog over to my place.

Here's the problem. This dog is spoiled. She's used to sleeping in the bed with her owners, and is usually around someone in the family regularly. I, on the other hand, won't let her sleep with me. I also work a full time job, and oddly enough, enjoy an uninterrupted sleep schedule. The dog doesn't. She whines, growls, and barks all night because she wants to get in bed with me(and who can blame her;-). It's gotten to the point that she has kept me from sleeping for more than 2hrs at a time. And she doesn't need to go pee either. The first two nights I would take her outside to go, and she'd just wonder around sniffing things. So last night I let her whine and complain until 3, then took her outside to pee, and left her in the living room while I locked my bedroom door and got 3.5hrs of sleep.

I love animals, but they are just animals. They can be a part of your family, but in mine they will remain at the level of "pet" and not "almost like a child." And its especially unfair to treat them like a child for a few years, then have kids and ignore them. So any dog I get in the future will not be allowed in the bed. Period. This will also be nice for the people who will be dog-sitting it in the future, as they will be able to get a good nights sleep.

Why not just shoot the puppy...

2006-07-20T19:54:00.000+01:00

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Dutchbags...

2006-07-17T14:36:00.000+01:00

Now this is downright creepy:They also want to break the "negative" stigma surrounding paedophilia by getting into parliament.

Read the whole story, it's like 3 paragraphs. So I guess these people think getting into Parliament will them more acceptable? This is pretty weird, even for the Dutch.

Keep your eyes on the prize...

2006-07-14T21:07:00.000+01:00

Should I laugh or cry at this...

2006-07-11T22:00:00.000+01:00

Ouch!

2006-07-11T16:05:00.000+01:00

I got this from Wikipedia, it's of the most exciting part of the whole World Cup Final match. That's one p*ssed off Frenchie!

Darn tootin...

2006-07-10T15:11:00.000+01:00

From Driscoll's blog, from an interview with a young "emerging" pastor(bottom of page).

6) What one piece of advice would you give to emerging pastors?

Let your wife worry about you clothes. Buy books and study. We don’t need any more well-dressed, hip, funny, heretics. Who cares how you say it if what you’re saying is wrong?

A moment of silence...

2006-07-07T15:06:00.000+01:00

While we Americans have rightly made a big deal out of September 11, 2001, today we should make it a point to remember that our British allies also suffered a cowardly attack on innocent people.

Today is the first anniversary of the London Bombings. Although it may sound like a Clash song, it was also a serious and scary thing. And because of the solidarity and compassion that many Brits showed to the US when we had our darkest hour, I'm posting this image with the faces of all the casualties from the London attack.

And whether you're looking forward to the fiery end of the world so Kirk Cameron can fight the anti-Christ, or looking forward to the fiery end of the world because you feel guilty about being white, take a moment to pray for the families of the people to the right, as they're reminded of the absence of their loved ones.

I am not now, nor have I ever been a fan of...

2006-06-30T21:32:00.000+01:00

rape?
Apparently, as I deal with possibly having Celiac Disease, I need to be aware of other "complications."

So basically, wheat and oats and barley will make me unable to digest, but rape won't? I'll leave it at that.

Dogs love trucks...

2006-06-29T22:39:00.000+01:00

So last weekend I went to the Back To The 50's car show at the Fair Grounds. I had fun. Went there with fun pe op le, saw fun cars. Lost my shirt, tho. I bought one, and then I lost it 25 feet away. Oh well, there's always the memories.

What's with the porcupine analogies...

2006-06-29T14:56:00.002+01:00

So as I continue on with my Journey Thru Emergence(patent pending), I saw this quote:
There are those who say that Emergent movement has some good points, but so does a
porcupine. You are better off if you don't get too close!

And all I could think of was the GCM quote about porcupines, which I can't quote but summarize:
"One very cold night a group of porcupines were huddled together for warmth. However, their spines made proximity uncomfortable, so they moved apart again and got cold."

Now the above quote is purported to be a German Fable, so I guess that explains why it sounded so familiar the first 7 times I heard it.

WTF, huh?
Anyhoo, more PoMo Preschool to come, I promise.

PICKLES!!!!!!!!

2006-06-26T15:22:00.000+01:00

Well, I was planning on opening up the PoMo Preschool on the the topic of hermeneutics, but then my head started to hurt. So instead, here is a girl deathly afraid of pickles!

Football!

2006-06-23T15:29:00.000+01:00

Well, Ben can quit whining now. The good ol' US of A is out of the World Cup. No one is surprised by this.
So if you don't like Futbol, you can stop pretending to care, and if you do, you can watch it without stupid comments from people who don't care.

Although you might get stupid comments from people who care.

Either way, find out what your Brazilian Football name would be. Why? B/c you're already reading my blog, which tells me you have some time on your hands...

wow...

2006-06-19T19:59:00.000+01:00

That's all I can really say. Read the article, then let's debate moral relativity...

She sings the anthem to applause, then her secret is revealed to stunned silence.

Just as I always suspected...

2006-06-16T17:57:00.000+01:00

Proof today that Carson Daly has always been a gigantic tool. Not that we doubted it, just pictorial evidence that we've been correct all along.
Yup, he's a tool all right. That's really all I have to say.

C'mon guys, be serious...

2006-06-14T16:39:00.000+01:00

A pomo also named Aaron made a good point when discussing the "Oprah Effect."

i have become absolutely intrigued by the spiritual “power” that miss winfrey possesses. usa today reports that a recent survey taken by beliefnet.com said that of 6,600 respondants 33% said that miss winfrey had a “more profound impact” on their spiritual lives than their clergyperson. that’s absolutely astounding to me… and rather frightening...

the reality of oprah’s “profound spiritual impact” has some exciting, yet unpredictable and possibly dangerous implications for the church. more and more we’re seeing that the theologians, philosophers, poets, prophets, and preachers of our day no longer reside in the church but rather in the culture at large. more and more our culture as a whole resembles the people of athens and the apostle paul’s encounter at mars hill. never before in the history of the church in america have we seen such a thing. never before have we had to know and understand missional living… (meaning we step outside of our comfortable walls and the christian subculture that is beginning to look more and more like jonestown than the “heaven-on-earth” we believe it is… i think we’ve tasted a bit too much of the grape kool-aid.) no longer is the church the center of our culture like it has been in years past… it’s long overdue that we recognize this and begin to leave our cozy chairs, our plasma screen adorned worship centers, and make our way into the world to be among the people being the salt and light that Jesus commanded of us… otherwise, we’ll never understand the influence that oprah wields, we’ll continue to slide into relative obscurity and the church will be unable to bring the message of hope that is Jesus into the world.

I think this is something that has been bugging me lately, and I'm alternately asking for opportunities to "make my way into the world" and kicking myself for not taking advantage of them in hindsight. It's becoming more and more clear to me daily that unless this is happening in my own life and relationships, who cares if the Evergreen ship capsizes.

mumbled musings

end of an aaron...

All better???

What does shaving my chest have to do with light-headedness???

Urgent care again...

Slainte...

Now 100% Timberlake Free!!!

No bueno...

I'm (goo)back...

An open letter to Justin Timberlake...

Bweee!

Coolest platform ever...

For your viewing pleasure...

crass, exploitative, hilarious

Better, stronger, faster, bigger...

Can't help it, sorry sis...

Newest Arrival...

Bwee...

Year of the Dog... *UPDATED*

Stupid JoJo...

I arrived to see a large python head peering out of the toilet bowl...

I'd like to take a bath with Morgan Freeman...

Do 1-armed pushups like...

Neato...

Ring of Fire...

Obligatory wedding post...

For all of you who missed it...

Hardcore...

Why does fudge sting...

For all you who dislike Wikipedia...

In sickness...

Reformation Day...

A tale of two Tshirts...

Well, answer the questions...

It's not so bad being trendy...

SEVEN REASONS WHY CALVINISTS BELIEVE IN EVANGELISM

A Slice of heaven...

Free???

That guy???

Happy Friday the 13th...

Fine...

300th post/ Pizza Luce...

Who knew?

Update: Piper Driscoll panel...

Calvinists love their Diet Coke and Hardshell Taco's...

So let it be written, so let it be done...

Angry...

Last Post...

Zombie PhotoShip...

On musical worship...

experimentation...

Hehe...

I wish we could do this to the Cat in the Hat...

Emerging from where...

Is that like Robots???

I'd like to give him a spicy Jesus roll...

surfing usa...

If you are considering investing Offshore Money Haven, Please Your choice !

Cool stuff in the rearview...

Saddle(goo)back worship...

I say emerging twice in this post, without laughing...

Just twitchy, that's all...

Anyone really surprised?...

No worries...

Newly-wads?...

Hypochondria, House style...

Good, but weird...

Baptism of the nougat...

Part II: Electric Bugaloo...

Part I...

The Clash...

Girthiness...

I love Kaps...

Have you ever wondered...

Yum...

Slogans...

Party with Piper...

Even better...

Hmm, funny for three reasons...

Rocker Alice Cooper opens Christian center

Year of the Dog... UPDATED