London's Burning

Ok, now raise your hand if you're a smart terrorist.
Oooh, not so fast the Secret Group of Al Qaeda's Jihad in Europe

Yeah, so today, al Quaeda made the worst mistake since f#cking with the US: f#cking with Britain. Not the brightest bulbs on the tree, these idiots blew up three subway stations and a double decker bus. Why? Well, obviously because they know nothing of strategic planning.
But they carried out four devestating attacks over the course of 45 minutes, that was some good planning, right? Wrong! Do you want to know why?

Fact: Hitler blew up a lot more of London than these S.G.A.Q.J.E. twats, and look what happened to him. The British people survived continuous explosions huddled in the very underground tunnels that were blown up today, and thrived becuase of it. There are many stories of people who met and fell in love or formed lifelong friendships while crouched in a dank tunnel, whilst German bombers doing their best to destroy the city above them. In that instance, the British sent up fighter after fighter, and cut the Luftwaffe to shreds. Then they went on to trounce the cowardly Krauts from from the sky's above Manchester to the streets of Munich. So obviously, these are a people who will give in to threats of bombs.

Fact: For over a century, IRA terrorists have been blowing up pubs and building and policemen in Great Britain, and look what it got them. Not only has the IRA been reduced to it's lowest numbers yet, but their politcal power in the form of Sinn Fein has waned to the point where they are robbing banks to finance their "popular resistance to English tyrrany." Yes, again, blowing things up in England is a good way to get your own way.

Fact: They don't have the 4th of July over there in England, but they have Guy Fawkes Day. What is Guy Fawkes Day, and what does it have to do with terrorists? In 1604 (thats 4o1 years ago) a group of Catholic terrorists decided to blow up the English Parliament. They were found out and executed. Big deal, right. Well, they have a holiday on the anniversary of this event where they light off fireworks and burn cloth dolls of Guy. So we see that people who try and fail to set off bombs in England not only die, but get a holiday in their name where their failure to get even that bit right is mocked.

So Al Qaeda, take a hint from the only country to ever beat the Brits, twice, in a row:
lay off you cowardly bastards, it's only going to get worse from here. Because they aren't going to send James Bond after you; they're gonna send Mickey and Harold from the East End, Robbie the Knife from Glasgow, and Well-hard Will from Belfast. MI5, MI6, the SAS, they're in the air and on the move. Now that's a scary thought.

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