MotherF%^&*n Busey...

Between the new years holiday and moving to la Casa de Miguel(Mikey's), I've found the time to renew my acquaintance with Jake Busey. Now you might say "don't you mean GARY BUSEY?" And then you would laugh. But this isn't normal circumstances, this is Life With Mikey.

Between Mikey's DVD collection, and the full screen, Pan-and-scan version of Starship Troopers on On-Demand, I've been able to spend some time with the Busey, only 10 years my senior. It is Jake, who oddly enough shares a birthdate with his Starship Troopers co-star and Doogie Howser namesake Neil Patrick Harris.

Due to my continuing relationship with UPN's Thursday night lineup, Ben Tipler, and Irish Cream liqueur(or the trio of terror, as I like to think of them), I have spent time with
Shannon Elizabeth on a weekly basis. And because of that, and the fact that I am NOT a gay cowboy, I watched Tomcats last night. Now before you jump our of your ergonomically designed office chair yelling about how I can't appreciate quality cinema just because of my aversion to Heath Ledger boinking Jake Ggylleennhhaall, or make a remark about some inherently sexist interest in Shannon Elizabeth, let me remind you of one fact: I didn't pay money for this movie!

So now, back to the Busey at hand, or at least on hand.
Jake is the reason why nepotism does not work. Even Scott Caan, Colin Hanks, and Enrique Eglesias have one leg to stand on(Oceans Eleven), but Jake Busey is left all alone. There is no excuse for Jake Busey, save that is he is a bit more sane than his father. But that is the only reason I can see to continue supporting Jake Busey with tax dollars. And even if the Government isn't involved(like there could be any other excuse for Jake than a powerful Jake Busey lobby), will I never be free of him?

So in closing, I love my new home, but I am unwilling to share it with Jake Busey. So if Colin Hanks, Casey Affleck, Rumor Willis, Randy Kutcher, Sean Preston Federline, or especially Kate Hudson is looking for a room to rent in Eagan, Jake's room is up for grabs.


Mike said...

you know, that kind of hurts....because I did pay money for that film...no matter how big of a mistake it was. Hindsight is 20/20 or some other crap like that.

Chris Dugan said...

Yeah "Tomcats" bloooooooows.

Don't make the same mistake I did though and follow it up with a viewing of Mikey's VHS copy of "Dude Where's My Car?". Yes, Stephanie's hot friend is in it but only for like 2 minutes and when she's not on the screen you have to put up with Sean William Scott and Ashton Kutcher in any number of latently homo-erotic situations. There is no balm in Gilead.

Mike said...

It seems like I can't win here. Perhaps I own all of the crappy movies that exist...or something of that sort.

For the record, I actually enjoyed "Dude, Where's my Car." Although it certainly was not the greatest film, it was worth the money that I paid for it, at least I think.