11.28.2006

Hardcore...


Last night I shaved. This is not news, in and of itself, as anyone who has spent time with me knows I can grow stubble. The thing that set last night apart from all the other shaving experiences of years gone by was this: I used a straight razor.

For the last few months I've been dissatisfied with my shave, using one of the many-bladed disposable models. And I've been thinking about how less and less manly I get as every year goes by. I mean, gosh, I'm now wearing jewelry(that's a jab at the fact I have a wedding ring).

So when I got an unexpected commission on a copier sale last month, I spent my lunch break ordering a pearl handled straight razor like you see above. I also ordered a strop, stone, and other bits necessary for the upkeep of a good blade.

And after much waiting, I got it on Monday.

I spent the rest of the night excited about the possibility that I would be embarking on a chance to reclaim my machismo by a simple act of grooming. That I, a station-wagon driving suit, who barely ever even puts his boots on anymore, would wield a blade with a safety margin of bare degrees. You see, a proper shave requires a 30-degree angle. Any less than that, and I'd be shaved like a Christmas ham; any more, and I'd merely be exfoliating.

After work I purchased some "mug shaving soap" and a hair brush. I then waited as long as I could: I wanted to avoid, but ended up successfully emulating, a 13-yr old boy with his first Stetson Christmas shaving set. At 9:30pm, after receiving a haircut from my hot wife and then taking a hot shower, I lathered up the brush and flipped out the blade. Mentally ruminating over my inherent coolness, I angled the razor at as close to 30-degrees as I could, and took a swipe.

Long story short, after about 30-minutes I was done. I exited the bathroom with a self satisfied air, and about 15 little nicks and cuts. I had done it, and my nose was still there. Not only that, but I also intended to repeat and refine this experience the next night.

That's right, I am now a MAN! And my face hurts...

1 comment:

Ben J said...

If in a week you still have a majority of the flesh you have now on your face I think I might be going the way of the straight razor.

I can't think of anything more manly that doesn't require hurting someone else or breaking a law.